You're driving down the freeway when some ambiguous person in a purple Dodge Challenger comes out of nowhere and aggressively swerves in front of you, cutting you off. Maybe you lay on the horn, or spew a couple of juicy curse words. I know that would be my reaction. Maybe some would even be tempted to speed up and attempt to tailgate the asshole. There are so many occurrences that happen in life that spark emotions such as anger, jealousy, rage, etc. Whether it is a rude co worker at work, coffee spilling all over your car, or cancelled plans... Such instances cause a reaction that can take on many forms, but usually is overwhelmingly negative. Reacting to bad things happening to you with opposition and anger can give off the appearance of being tough, hard-as-nails, and strong. I argue that developing a softness towards the world... makes you a real badass.
Soft is not weak
Softness is not the same as being weak. It is one's ability to remain calm, kind, and mindful during conflicts. Before this post gets dismissed as frivolous, hear me out. Reacting with anger to situations only does yourself harm. All that anger and rage inside of yourself takes a toll on your mental health. If you could achieve the same results (and better) of being a badass but by using softness, why not try?
There's nothing more badass than being emotionally independent
The more you are able to control your emotions regardless of external stimuli, the stronger you become, and naturally more of a badass. Of course there are instances where we are consumed by the forces of the world, and not only is this natural, it is healthy. However, if we can find ways of not giving negative stimuli so much power, and instead soften to it, we can find greater peace and happiness in life.
Softening to the world can look like many different things. You can be soft when it comes to people, or circumstances that don't even directly involve people. Let's say that you find out that someone has been spreading rumors about you at work. You could spend your days fuming with anger, hurt, and thoughts of revenge... Or you could approach the situation with calmness and acceptance. View this situation with the mindset that you can't control others actions, and their opinions do not have to completely undo you. If action needs to be taken, approaching the situation with a steady mindset will benefit you greatly. In my own life, when someone responds to a negative situation with quiet calmness, I am much more impressed than if someone were to start yelling and going off the rails. It is the stableness in someone that makes them appear more trustworthy and powerful. If you want to earn respect and naturally resonate with a powerful presence, responding in a calm and "soft" manner is the way to go.
Think about movies when there is a hero or villain, and they are dealing with conflict. Are you more intimidated and impressed by the characters who go off the walls with rabid anger and uncontrolled energy, or the ones who are so still in their presence that you can feel the tension in the room? The object of using softness is not to scare people. I am just demonstrating how you don't have to be an aggressor to gain the respect of others. Softness does not only benefit you, but others as well.
Your seemingly small-scale compassion works towards softening the large-scale world
When given the choice of spreading love or hate, why not spread as much love as possible? This isn't some hippy talk, but very practical. The world runs much smoother when we turn towards loving rather than fighting. Responding to opposition with softness rather than negativity positively impacts everyone involved in the situation. If a person is coming at you with anger, hate, and aggression... If you show them softness in response, they will simultaneously soften a bit, even if you don't see it superficially.
Many get put-off from doing small good things because they don't see how it could possibly make an impact on such a large world. Well, I am not ending all of animal suffering by going vegan, but I am making a difference to the comparably few animals that I do not consume, and my veganism makes a difference to those animals. The same applies to your compassion to the people you deal with in your life. Maybe you work as a cashier, and you have a particularly rude customer. If you meet their negativity with positivity, you will be softening them in some way, which is a very powerful thing. Imagine if we all responded in such a way? That type of world is a sort of utopia, and is realistically not possible because of the beautiful complexity of the human mind, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't strive for it regardless.
We must not give up on compassion just because of an inability to soften every aspect of the entire world. Every stone makes a difference in a cairn, just like every person's actions make a difference in this world. The next time you face opposition, try pausing and softening just a bit instead of just reacting. With human's tendencies to engage in war, greediness, violence, and deception... It can be easy to give in and succumb to the worst part of our nature. Don't let society's traditions keep you from attaining the ultimate superpower of being a soft badass!
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