Kauai, the oldest island in the Hawaiian archipelago, is known as the “Garden Isle.” Its lush tropical rainforests and mystical mountains support this name. When I was in college, I bought a custom chunky gold necklace with the word “lushly” in gothic font. I was obsessed with the word “lush” and its meaning of thick thriving vegetation as well as rich sensory pleasure. “Lushly” is not actually a word, but I coined it as such because I thought of it as a reminder to live my life to its lush fullness. It seemed like a great idea at the time, but I never heard the end of it from my friends, and I had to watch as people cocked their heads as I explained for the five hundredth time what the made up word means. When I got off the plane in Kauai, I immediately thought, lushly.
I wander the small island in a state of constant enchantment. My hands wont stop trailing the vibrant seams of leaves as large as my entire body. My hair never seems to settle on my shoulders thanks to the steady warm trade winds, laced with new scents of plant life. I feel the sun on my skin, knowing I’m turning pink, but the rays feel like they are healing me, not hurting (shhh dermatologists). The essence of this place is not one that I have experienced before, and my body is absorbing all of it like a sponge. I came to Kauai, Hawaii, as many do, expecting to find peace. Before even stepping foot on the island, I imagined that when doing so, I would be transformed into a more laid back version of myself that could communicate with shorebirds. An exaggeration, perhaps, but I did idealize this island-version of myself, even if the adventure was only for a couple weeks. Was I more relaxed? Absolutely. Did I have stressful moments? You bet. Maybe it’s not surprising to hear that this short period on Kauai didn’t change my identity, but it got me thinking. Can a place truly change a person?
On a different note, moving out to the mountain west seemed like a natural step for me. Not only was I drawn to the rugged wilderness waiting to be explored, but I also imagined a version of myself stronger both physically and mentally. I looked out to the formidable mountains and craved to stretch as tall as them, and become weathered by the elements that gave life to every living thing. I found myself naturally slipping closer towards this vision, but it left me to wonder if it is the place that shapes us, or do we naturally move in directions based on our existing identities?
There is no shortage of mainland transplants in Kauai. Freckled face girls from Iowa, tanned lanky dudes from southern California, retired-aged couples from the east coast with big sun hats… The vast array goes on. Standing at a juice bar, I order an acai bowl with a big goofy smile on my face because of the novelty of eating fruit in a tropical place. The girl behind the counter’s eyes glaze over and her mouth doesn’t curve up like mine, and I can’t tell if she despises tourists or just can’t be bothered. Her energy surprises me, even though there are countless disinterested baristas back on the mainland. This girl is equipped with the costume of an all-loving, new age, transcended hippy. A rainbow branded necklace clings to her slim tanned neck, and gold half-moon hoops droop from her ears. As I considered this, I thought to myself how ignorant it is to think that just because one lives in a “paradise,” does not mean that one is exempt from feeling the dynamic ranges of emotions like all humans. Also, just because one puts on a rainbow necklace does not mean they are suddenly Suzy Sunshine.
The Suzy Sunshine from Kauai is an archetype just like Mountaineer Monica from any mountain town area. Monica has an endearing and energetic dog that was rescued from the local shelter, wakes up each morning to watch the sunrise from the top of a mountain, only eats foods foraged from the local public lands (huckleberries, mushrooms, and pine nuts), has tan lines burned into her skin like a tattoo, and whose legs are constantly scratched up from recent brushes with sharp boulder edges while scaling them effortlessly. The reality is that many people embody Monica and Suzy. However, what people may not know is that Monica struggles constantly to find stable housing in such a small but sought after town, she works multiple jobs to feed herself and her pup, and sometimes she just wants to lounge around the house and do nothing extreme for a day. The ideas of Monica and Suzy exist together as in a bubble that puts pressure on Monica and Suzy themselves, and everyone who visits and wants to try on their clothes for a week or two.
I idealized how I would change when I arrived on Kauai, and I also idealized its residents. I believe that others also see themselves as changed in some way once they arrive on Kauai, or any particular destination, just like myself in the west. Many take trips to tropical paradises to “relax” and “unwind” from the busyness of their lives. Wealthy men of all ages flock to the mountain west to trade their suit jackets, computer screens, glass offices, and tamed suburbia for flannels, mountain views, log cabins, and chasing something that they believe they lost in themselves. Many seek out different places that they think will fill some elemental part that was lost or never formed.
Recently someone asked me, “Can you find enlightenment atop a mountain, or must you bring it with you?” (An idea discussed by writer/philosophical interpreter; Alan Watts). I pondered this question. I wonder if someone who is not open to peace can access it from nature alone. The same thing applies to moving to a place and thinking it will change you without making any internal changes yourself. Can a place be strong enough to make the change all on its own?
There is a balance between a person and a place. Nature is a powerful thing, but so is the human mind. The human mind can drive people to self harm and to harm others. The mind can trick people into only seeing darkness when there is nothing but light surrounding them. I believe that there must be at least a sliver of openness inside a person for them to have a place possibly begin to change them.
When we think that places dictate our happiness or satisfaction in life, that is when things become dangerous. Yes, many times getting out of a toxic environment can be life changing in the best way. However, when people are constantly looking elsewhere to feel whole, the feeling will never be found. Traveling and moving to new places should be wonderful add-ons to already complete lives. The same concept applies to relationships.
Thinking back on Kauai and on the mountain west, I see two places with immense contrasting beauty. Two places with people existing with the same difficulties that plague all humans. These ecotourism “destination” places have their complications just as any suburban town, big city, or vast isolated desert. Crying, laughing, or smiling is a universal language that does not take on a different meaning just because it is in a different biome.
So did Kauai change me? Of course it did! Just as each new experience widens my perspective a little or a lot, and enriches my understanding of the world. However, I did not become Suzy Sunshine, nor am I Mountaineer Monica. Once one latches onto any archetype such as these, the only identity that they will become is a hamster on a wheel; constantly running towards something that has no end and ceases to exist.